


Clarity of Mind

by brbmcring



Series: Mortal!Verse [2]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Artist Gerard, Immortality, Self-Doubt, mortal!frank, vampire, vampire!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:54:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7090408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brbmcring/pseuds/brbmcring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vampire!Gerard/Mortal!Frank AU in which Gerard ponders his own immortality and the idea of living without Frank. This is basically a continuation of Mortal Desparation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clarity of Mind

Maybe he should have said something, maybe he should have talked to him about his doubts, about his fears and the thoughts that keep him up at night. It wasn't that Gerard didn't want to spend the rest of time with his lover, because he most definitely did. But part of him was terrified that he might accidentally kill him in the process, or that with time, Frank would realize that he didn't actually want to be with him. Though the idea of Frank dying made him feel as though there was no point in existing without him, the idea of him being with someone else hurt just as much. He didn't think he would be able to handle seeing him with someone else, imagining them laying in bed as night, laughing over coffee, and kissing instead of paying attention to the movie on the screen. He knew that the turmoil in his mind could be calmed if he would just sit down with Frank and talk about it. All he had to do was talk, yet his mouth seemed incapable of moving. He knew that Frank was probably thinking similar things as him, and he knew everything would resolve itself if they were open to each other. But part of him thought, that if Frank wasn't bringing it up, well then maybe it wasn't important enough to him. In his mind Frank was probably appalled at the idea of spending eternity with him. It wouldn't be the first time he was left, and it wouldn't be the first time someone got sick of his antics after a few years together. But somehow, somewhere in his soul he knew this was different. Part of him knew that there would never be anyone like Frank again, that if he didn't do something now he would never truly love anyone again. But the rest of him pushed that idea down, it was pushed down as far as possible, because anything could happen, anything could happen and he didn't want to end up alone.

The idea of living alone, of having to perform mundane tasks without anyone there with him, is what finally convinced him to take action. He looked at his lover and saw that he was asleep, so he knew the conversation would have to wait. But maybe that was okay, it would give him some time to gather his thoughts, figure out what he was going to say so he wouldn't end up rambling incoherently in the morning. He had a good feeling about this, despite the terror that was slowly crawling through his mind. He knew that Frank loved him, they had been together for years. And with that he couldn't help but think back to the first time they met, to Gerard's sudden infatuation and Frank complete obliviousness. It had taken three months of nervous stuttering on Gerard's part for Frank to realize that maybe Gerard had a little crush on him. Mind you, at the time Frank didn't know about Gerard, that he would never die. All he saw was a look in his eyes that seemed to be a mixture of fear and adoration. In the end, it was Gerard who asked Frank out. Of course, that was after a lot of nervous babbling and violent blushing whenever he thought Frank was flirting with him. Eventually he just asked, as he figured that the worst case scenario was probably that he would just say no. In fact, Gerard was almost entirely convinced he would be denied, because after all, there was nothing appealing about him. But that day he had decided to go all out, showering and dressing more neatly than his usual sloppy jeans and shirt. And when Frank said yes it took him a minute to process the words, because oh my god, he said yes.

**Author's Note:**

> I am definitely planning on writing more of these, but feedback is definitely appreciated (as well as just comments in general)!! Please let me know what you think and if you have any ideas where this should go from here!


End file.
